Intimacy is, Before you I will be absolutely nude.... I will not hide anything....

A few things.... One: start being honest, true. Start dropping deception, masks, faces. They have become very very habitual, so unless one deliberately drops them, they are never dropped.

And much pain will come. For example, you are going with her (the woman with him) and you see a beautiful woman and you say to her that you are pulled by this woman and her beauty, a great desire to possess her has arisen in you -- not that you are going to possess her, but the desire has arisen.

Ordinarily you feel it is better not to say such things to your woman. Even if she catches you red-handed -- and she will catch you many times, because your eyes will show.... When you look at another woman who is beautiful and attractive and suddenly a desire arises in you.... And it is unconscious, you cannot do anything right now about it; if it arises, it arises. To do anything is possible only when it has arisen, not before it. But it has arisen, so it has arisen. You can repress it but you cannot do anything else.

Even if the woman catches you, you would like to pretend that no, it was not that -- you were looking at something else. Don't be untrue. Then you will be vulnerable to pain. And start by being vulnerable to pain -- because everybody wants to be open for pleasure and nobody wants to be open for pain. And the arithmetic is: if you are open to pain, only then can you be open to pleasure. If you are not open to pain you cannot be open to pleasure. That's why there are so many people in the world, each hankering for pleasure, and everybody is in pain because they have taken a wrong step from the very beginning.

And let her also be true, allow her truth. Don't force her to repress; allow freedom. By and by you will learn the bitter-sweet taste of it; it is bitter and sweet both. And if you can become available to pain, nobody can prevent you from becoming available to pleasure. You have earned it. By going into pain one earns and learns how to be in pleasure.

So just start opening by and by. And there is no need to do it all of a sudden and too much, mm? because that can destroy a relationship.

Go in homeopathic doses -- slowly. Just show a little part of your real face -- not the whole face at a time. By and by let the mask slip, let the mask be loose. And she will also feel very happy by and by, because when you start becoming open, you help her also to become open. It works in a reciprocal way: she becomes open, you become more courageous.

And when this opening brings pain you will see a new quality to pain -- a quality that is very refreshing. It is painful and yet cleansing, painful yet worthwhile. It brings something... some integration, some clarity, makes you more aware. Pain always makes people aware. When you consciously go into it and there was every possibility that you could have avoided it.... The woman was not with you and you came home and you told her that a beautiful woman passed on the road and suddenly a great desire arose in you -- and you didn't know from where.... Now there was no need -- she was not with you; you could have easily avoided it. But it is not good to avoid. When you have given your heart to a woman you have to share everything that arises in your heart. There should not be anything private. Everything should be shared.

Pain and pleasure -- both should be shared.

This authenticity will bring an intimacy which is not the ordinary intimacy of married couples. They are not intimate -- they simply pretend to be intimate. Their intimacy has motives in it. Maybe to pretend to be intimate is good for the children. To pretend to be intimate is good for their own financial affairs, future securities, respectability in the society, but intimacy is not there. It is more a formal thing. It happens always....

You may be fighting with your woman and a friend knocks on the door -- suddenly you start smiling. The mind comes in and everything is going so beautifully, and just a moment before you were ready to kill each other! What happened? This is just a social face. You are not only deceiving the friend -- you are deceiving yourself too.

So I am telling you to move into pain. It is arduous, dangerous. One never knows what will happen but one thing is certain -- that if you can move into pain, pain will cleanse you of many impurities, of many gross elements in you... will make you more subtle, will make you more aware. And through pain you will become available to pleasure also. When one is ready to suffer pain there is no point in repressing pleasure.

We repress pleasure because we are afraid that if we allow pleasure to have total possession the pain will also come with it. It is its other part -- the other aspect of the coin; it will come. So people don't go into pleasure totally. They go very very guardedly. Even while making love people don't abandon themselves; they remain in control. A subtle control, a remote control, they continue. They keep the button in their hand somewhere. If something goes too far and they are crossing the boundary, they turn it off. But they never go to the very end of it.

The fear is that if you go too much into pleasure you may be entering the forbidden territory of pain -- it is there.

So start with pain. And if you can be open in pain.... And if you want some time to cry, cry! Where else will you cry if you cannot cry before your woman? Forget all nonsense that has been taught -- that a man never cries. If a man never cries, he is not a man. Either he is inhuman or he is superhuman, but one thing certain: he is not man. Cry sometimes. Share your sorrow, your sadness. Weep like a child.

And the same I am saying to your partner -- she has to do the same. And by and by you will see that a great intimacy is arising which has nothing to do with society. And in that intimacy much happiness will happen. You will explode into happiness.

But begin with pain, and always remember that everything has to begin in pain. Meditate together and open your hearts as they are. Sometimes wrong, sometimes rotten, sometimes not worth showing to anybody -- but at least to your beloved, you should show. In this way you will also help her to show everything. And when all the cards are open -- you are not even hiding a trump card -- intimacy arises on its own accord. What is intimacy?

Intimacy is, 'Before you I will be absolutely nude. I will not hide anything.' That's all intimacy is. It is, 'When you are in the room, I will be as if I am alone.' Your presence will not make me repress something. Your presence will not make me change and show something else which is not there. I will be as natural as I am in the bathroom when I am alone! Then there is intimacy.

It is a risk! One never knows what will come out of it. But one thing can be aid, whatsoever comes will be beautiful. If separation comes out of it, it will be beautiful, better, more beautiful than the so-called marriage. If marriage comes out of it, it will be tremendously beautiful.

Whatsoever comes out of intimacy is good, because intimacy is good. Try ... it will be hard....